Digging Deeper into the Prophet's Hadith on What Helps a Person After He Has Passed

I realize that i've only blogged about my father after his passing, and it's been over two years now, and although I insist on not writing about him so as not to seem obsessed, i find that his death continues to inspire in me deep reflections and memories.   May Allah have mercy on all those who have passed and make us ready for our time whenever it comes, esp if it is sooner, rather than later. 


Recently, more than two years after my father's passing, I reflected on the famous saying of the Prophet's (saaws) in which he gives us hints on what we can do to help our loved ones after they have returned to Allah.  In the hadith, Abu Hurayrah, rahimahullah, narrated that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said, "When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing sadaqah, a knowledge (of Islam) from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes du'a for him." [Muslim and others]

I thought of how easy this was, of how b/c he was an integral part of my every memory, I would easily remember him daily and make dua'a for him.

But then I realized that there was another side to this hadith that I was completely missing; a much deeper and more proactive side.  Righteous child.  Why in the world did I assume that I was a righteous child?  Was I really that perfect that I thought I would automoatically be accepted by Allah, and that my dua'as would be answered for my loved one?  Or was this hadith a call for me to work on myself, improve myself, struggle with my weaknesses, so that I could be in a state of constant struggle to reach piety?  Was this hadith more of  a call for self-improvement, in the face of, or despite, grief and sadness?

As a parent myself, I realize that if I should die in a year or more or less, my biggest worry without a doubt would be for my young children.  I worry about the logistics of who would take care of them, but I realize that if I pass, I have nothing to do with what happens after my death, and it is not my worry.  But the only wish that I could ever have for my young ones, is that Allah protects their faith, and that they grow up in the shade of His rememberance.  If I continue to nurture them and raise them, I will undoubtedly strengthen my bonds with them, and one day they will come searching for how they can continue to birr me, do well for me, after I have passed.  My sincerest hope is that at that point, they will realize that there is nothing better that they can do for me than to work on themselves, make themselves the best that they can be.  Then, and only then, will i rest in peace in my grave, and realize that there could be no better gift than to have my children making duaa for my salvation, and most importantly, struggling to make themselves the best people that I could leave behind. Only then, will I rest assuredly in my death, knowing that Allah and His Messenger, in their infinite wisdom, gave us pearls of wisdom that we can uncover when we dig a little more deeply.