aaah, i'm in pain right now, and i don't think i've ever hurt my daughter as much as i did today. i've never seen her cry such deep tears of upset and disbelief. i disclipined her today by taking away her bedtime story. she misbehaved and i gave her many chances, counted down, threatened etc. and then took her down to 1 story, and then she acted up again and i took away her one story. and i knew it would hurt me, b/c it would unsettle her before bed, which would make falling asleep harder for her, and yet i felt she would only learn if she saw that i would not change my mind. but she cried and cried her heart out and i'm so sad.
and to make it worse, she acts up usually when i don't give her enough activities during the day, and today i left her at my mom's from 4-9 pm, where they didnt have much to do. so i always feels bad when i feel like i didn't give her enough of my time of day, but i have this project i need to finish by next week and i'm no where close to finishing it... aaaahhhh. poor baby.
What is right? am i doing the right form of disciplining? i don't feel like this is going to hurt her long term, b/c i did warn her. and i'll shower her with love tomorrow to show her i love her, but that she can't act up in rude behavior. ... i don't know...
and i lost her today. and the worst thing is i didn't even notice till minutes later. we were at teh library and she was on the computer and i was doing puzzles with her sister. when i finally got up, i noticed she was gone. i went searching for her and found the librarian and another woman bringing her in, apparently she had been outside looking for me, thinking i had left her and gone to the park. and then the two women went off and started whispering, and i could just imagine them talking about this irresponsible foreigner who didn't care for her kid... subhanaAllah. alhamdulillah He protected her and me from feeling the fear of losing my daughter to human's moment of weakness and non-omniscense.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Small Science Experiment for 3 year old
I kind of adapted this idea from a website I came upon for Montessori teaching and from the snowy/sleety weather we had last night.
While we were driving, a snow truck passed in front of us and sprayed us with some pebbles/salt grains. My daughter asked me about it and I explained that salt helps the ice melt more quickly and keeps ice from forming on the ground. She asked how, so I promised her that next morning we would do an 'experiment' to discover how. This excited her since she's been reading a mouse story , with the mouse getting dirty in one scene from a 'science experiment.' So she said excitedly, "tajruba 3ilmiyya?!" And I said, 'Yes!"
Today we took out two little bowls and two pieces of ice. I let my daughters take turns pouring salt on the 'experimental' ice cube. Then we moved around both bowls and got them little spoons to mix the ice. The ice with the salt melted very quickly! We learned about the different states of water, about different things that help ice melt more quickly.
quick fun!
While we were driving, a snow truck passed in front of us and sprayed us with some pebbles/salt grains. My daughter asked me about it and I explained that salt helps the ice melt more quickly and keeps ice from forming on the ground. She asked how, so I promised her that next morning we would do an 'experiment' to discover how. This excited her since she's been reading a mouse story , with the mouse getting dirty in one scene from a 'science experiment.' So she said excitedly, "tajruba 3ilmiyya?!" And I said, 'Yes!"
Today we took out two little bowls and two pieces of ice. I let my daughters take turns pouring salt on the 'experimental' ice cube. Then we moved around both bowls and got them little spoons to mix the ice. The ice with the salt melted very quickly! We learned about the different states of water, about different things that help ice melt more quickly.
quick fun!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Children's Innocence
My heart hurts for my children, and I wish I could protect them from learning what meanness is.
The other day we were visiting with some older, generally well-behaved children and their parents. When we went home, my three year old told me that the 'older' boy (6? 8? year old 'A') had called her banana head. She was laughing when she said this. And I knew that she thought it was funny.
But I kept on thinking to myself that he meant it in a way to make people laugh, and b/c she was innocent , she wasn't hurt by him using her as a tool for humor. But I felt so bad. I was happy that she wasn't hurt, but I realized that one day it would dawn on her that people are mean, and words could hurt. My heart cries for my children, cries for the day they realize human meanness.
Ya Allah, give us strength in our bodies and spirits, and protect our children from evil.
The other day we were visiting with some older, generally well-behaved children and their parents. When we went home, my three year old told me that the 'older' boy (6? 8? year old 'A') had called her banana head. She was laughing when she said this. And I knew that she thought it was funny.
But I kept on thinking to myself that he meant it in a way to make people laugh, and b/c she was innocent , she wasn't hurt by him using her as a tool for humor. But I felt so bad. I was happy that she wasn't hurt, but I realized that one day it would dawn on her that people are mean, and words could hurt. My heart cries for my children, cries for the day they realize human meanness.
Ya Allah, give us strength in our bodies and spirits, and protect our children from evil.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Confessions of a Three Year Old
I absolutely love them. I love my little daughter when she comes up to me and starts conversing with me, telling me as an after thought, about something that she did yesterday that she probably shouldn't have, or something that she did today that she probably shouldn't have.
"Mama, I ran to the bathroom because I needed it. I pee'ed in my pants, a little bit."
Me: "What?!"
"Just a little bit, mama, a very little bit."
She tells me the story so matter of factly, so full of confidence, so sure of my love, with no guilt, because she doesn't understand guilt yet, at least not fully.
I was sitting and listening to her chatter away, not really paying attention, till her new train of words caught my attention.
"Mama, yesterday I took that bottle and went into the room, shut the door and put some soap in my hands and my sisters's hands."
Me, "Yes?"
"Then my aunt came in the room and took it from me, and told me this doesn't belong to me."
"Oh, what was it?" Now I'm really paying attention because I realize she's telling me a real life story, and because I'm wondering what the heck she had taken out of the closet.
"That," she points to a bottle of antibacterial soap, a small bottle, the kind you don't have to wash with water.
She tells me this whole story in retrospect, something that happened in her day yesterday. But she's not confessing a sin, she's just telling me her daily happenings. She feels no need to apologize, she feels no need to fear me. And I absolutely love it. I love the fact that she's not scared of telling me, the fact that she isn't waiting for my reaction and fearing it. I love the fact that she's conversing with me, and I almost don't want to say anything, don't want to ruin the moment.
"Sumy, why did you close the door?"
"What?"
"Remember, if I don't see you, Allah SWT sees you. Next time, if you want to see it, just ask me and I'll bring it down." But deep inside I realize that I don't always 'just bring it down.' Maybe I need to do that more often.
I hope I did that right. I hope I am able to keep my lines of communication open with this little treasure of a daughter. I hope she always remains so innocent, even in her mistakes, so free, so trusting, so confident.
Ya Allah, give me wisdom to protect her from everything bad. Ya Allah, keep our babies so wonderful and trusting and sweet and innocent.
"Mama, I ran to the bathroom because I needed it. I pee'ed in my pants, a little bit."
Me: "What?!"
"Just a little bit, mama, a very little bit."
She tells me the story so matter of factly, so full of confidence, so sure of my love, with no guilt, because she doesn't understand guilt yet, at least not fully.
I was sitting and listening to her chatter away, not really paying attention, till her new train of words caught my attention.
"Mama, yesterday I took that bottle and went into the room, shut the door and put some soap in my hands and my sisters's hands."
Me, "Yes?"
"Then my aunt came in the room and took it from me, and told me this doesn't belong to me."
"Oh, what was it?" Now I'm really paying attention because I realize she's telling me a real life story, and because I'm wondering what the heck she had taken out of the closet.
"That," she points to a bottle of antibacterial soap, a small bottle, the kind you don't have to wash with water.
She tells me this whole story in retrospect, something that happened in her day yesterday. But she's not confessing a sin, she's just telling me her daily happenings. She feels no need to apologize, she feels no need to fear me. And I absolutely love it. I love the fact that she's not scared of telling me, the fact that she isn't waiting for my reaction and fearing it. I love the fact that she's conversing with me, and I almost don't want to say anything, don't want to ruin the moment.
"Sumy, why did you close the door?"
"What?"
"Remember, if I don't see you, Allah SWT sees you. Next time, if you want to see it, just ask me and I'll bring it down." But deep inside I realize that I don't always 'just bring it down.' Maybe I need to do that more often.
I hope I did that right. I hope I am able to keep my lines of communication open with this little treasure of a daughter. I hope she always remains so innocent, even in her mistakes, so free, so trusting, so confident.
Ya Allah, give me wisdom to protect her from everything bad. Ya Allah, keep our babies so wonderful and trusting and sweet and innocent.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Not Regretting It
My husband has a wonderful trait-once he decides on something and goes through with it, he never regrets it. No matter how nagging I can get, asking him if perhaps we should have looked around for a better deal, perhaps we should have waited, perhaps...., he tells me, 'khalass, it's over and I don't regret it.'
And I love this trait about him, b/c it helps me feel better about some decisions I feel I may have forced him into that I later have second thoughts about (like buying our new car).
But two days ago, I did something different. Something that I should have done so many years ago, but practice makes perfect. I thought about why I was going to the inauguration.
I had planned on going months ago, once Obama was elected president. And then the morning of the inauguration, I found myself going by myself, and I wondered if there was any truly 'good' reason for me to go, other than to see something excited, which didn't sound very beneficial to my life and Hereafter.
So I decided that I would go and learn something new from this crowd of 2 million people, and I would at least be a picture for Islam in America for these crowds who might not think Muslims were as interested as they in Obama's inauguration.
And I went. It was cold, crowded, exhausting, and wonderful, and I went alhamdulillah. I was alone the whole time, and I got stuck in unbelievable human traffic afterwards (never ever imagined such a human traffic jam) and it took me 2.5 hours to get home instead of 30 minutes, but alhamdulillah, I did not regret going because I got what I went for, alhamdulillah. People saw me, I gave a 30 second interview on something called Kosher TV, and I saw things that I did not think I'd see (like the Christian fundamentalists with their huge signs, coming to DC with a purpose, and getting booed by the crowd and told to go home (!), and the Buddhist monks walking around the mall to their own drumbeat (so nice!), and some interesting crowd control issues).
Alhamdulillah, it was a learning experience. May God give me the power to think through every action I take.
And I love this trait about him, b/c it helps me feel better about some decisions I feel I may have forced him into that I later have second thoughts about (like buying our new car).
But two days ago, I did something different. Something that I should have done so many years ago, but practice makes perfect. I thought about why I was going to the inauguration.
I had planned on going months ago, once Obama was elected president. And then the morning of the inauguration, I found myself going by myself, and I wondered if there was any truly 'good' reason for me to go, other than to see something excited, which didn't sound very beneficial to my life and Hereafter.
So I decided that I would go and learn something new from this crowd of 2 million people, and I would at least be a picture for Islam in America for these crowds who might not think Muslims were as interested as they in Obama's inauguration.
And I went. It was cold, crowded, exhausting, and wonderful, and I went alhamdulillah. I was alone the whole time, and I got stuck in unbelievable human traffic afterwards (never ever imagined such a human traffic jam) and it took me 2.5 hours to get home instead of 30 minutes, but alhamdulillah, I did not regret going because I got what I went for, alhamdulillah. People saw me, I gave a 30 second interview on something called Kosher TV, and I saw things that I did not think I'd see (like the Christian fundamentalists with their huge signs, coming to DC with a purpose, and getting booed by the crowd and told to go home (!), and the Buddhist monks walking around the mall to their own drumbeat (so nice!), and some interesting crowd control issues).
Alhamdulillah, it was a learning experience. May God give me the power to think through every action I take.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Vacuuming Empowers Me!
I'm realizing this more and more, I absolutely love vacuuming. In general, I prefer cooking to cleaning any time of day, but there's something absolutely quick and wonderful about a vacuum cleaners powers- how it wipes out dirt and a mess with one swipe, and leaves my living room looking so clean within minutes.
And it's probably the only cleaning I can do with kids running around and not having to worry about them demanding my attention at that time. They either play tag with the vacuum cleaner and I push, or grab their own child size vacuums and clean along.
And I just recently realized the love affair I've had with each vacuum cleaner I bought in the different countries and had to leave behind when I moved. At first I thought it was only this vacuum cleaner or that one that I loved, but then I realized I loved each vacuum cleaner I've chosen (except for my craigslist one-but then again, I didn't choose that one!).
I feel like a child when I say this, but I love vacuuming!
PS: I own a dyson at the moment (one of the lighter ones) and am in love!
And it's probably the only cleaning I can do with kids running around and not having to worry about them demanding my attention at that time. They either play tag with the vacuum cleaner and I push, or grab their own child size vacuums and clean along.
And I just recently realized the love affair I've had with each vacuum cleaner I bought in the different countries and had to leave behind when I moved. At first I thought it was only this vacuum cleaner or that one that I loved, but then I realized I loved each vacuum cleaner I've chosen (except for my craigslist one-but then again, I didn't choose that one!).
I feel like a child when I say this, but I love vacuuming!
PS: I own a dyson at the moment (one of the lighter ones) and am in love!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
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