Two weeks ago I read an article on hugging your kids 12 times a day, and it dawned on me that when they’re babies, my kids are getting at least 10 hugs a day, but as they grow older, those hugs grow much, much fewer, and so far in between. When I read that article, I realized weeks go by without a real hug from me to my child, and I decided I was going to challenge myself to hugging them daily, and seeing how many hugs I can build in. I was going to wait till I’d built a solid routine, with at least 3 hugs a day, and then I was going to report to everyone with my new achievement.
But I didn't have time to do that. Because today I heard the news coming out of Connecticut about what is now considered the second largest school massacre in American history. Twenty elementary aged kids murdered after their parents had dropped them off at school on a routine day.
That
image of me dropping off my seven year old early this morning at her school,
giving her that morning hug that, her absorbing that hug with a hunger that she
seems to always have for my physical touch, flashed across my mind.
I
had a good moment today, where I savored my hug, but it doesn't always happen
that way. Some mornings my girls are having really bad days, where everything
manages to take twice as much time as it should, and where I end up losing my
temper numerously. On those mornings, it's been a struggle to force
myself to hug them with all the angry words that have been said. And that
hug comes out forced, sometimes feels fake, but today, all I can think is
alhamdulillah it's coming out.
What
if I was having one of those bad mornings with my daughters, dropping them off
angrily at school, either giving a quick forced hug, or no hug at all, only to
hear news that I would never see them again? What if I was one of those
parents who lost their child today, would I be wishing for one last hug where I
could prove to them how much I loved them? What if I didn't have that
chance anymore, would I live the rest of my life wishing I had dropped them off
at school with a smile on my face and a meaningful last look deep into
their eyes?
Ya
Allah, give me the chance to love my children in all their moods and tantrums,
to be thankful for their continued presence in my life, to appreciate
Your gift at every moment of our lives together. Ya Allah, I leave
them in Your trust, so help me raise them in the best way and protect them from
the evils of all Your creation.
Moving
forward, I grieve for the parents and think of what I can do with my little
ones. Think that there's little more
than leaving them in Allah's trust and showing them, through hugs and
otherwise, how much I treasure their presence in my life.
