Parenting Thoughts

Autumn Leaves and Kids

2009-11-01T20:56:00.001-08:00

I took Sumayya and Shifaa to the park the other day, in hopes they'd entertain themselves with all the fallen leaves. Sumayya, "How, mama?" Me, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa."

So anyways, I later got the idea to have the girls grab their baskets, go outside and collect leaves of different colors and shapes. We did that, and could have spent alot more time on it, but it was raining that day. Today, we stayed home and actually did some things with those leaves, and I'm so happy alhamdulillah. I hardly ever feel like I'm doing something useful with Sumayya, so this was a good experience that I want to record so that I'll remember some other plans I have.

Basically we took a few different shapes of leaves and did markings of them on paper with the wide side of different colored crayons. Sumayya got the hang of it and actually wanted to keep on going, which is a rarity with her when it comes to artistic/crayon-associated projects. We also got into talking about the veins of the leaves, their job and compared them to human veins. Sumayya was interested mashaAllah. :)

Some other things hope to do inshaAllah:

Leaf/tree identification.
go out and collect many, many more leaves.
wax meltings of leaves and wax crayons shavings . (leaves/crayons between wax paper, iron to melt them together).
God's Characteristics: Al Musawwir (all the different leaf shapes out there, leaf colors, trees, etc!.) The qur'anic verse on " No leaf drops but He is aware of it...).
Leaf in basket collection: collect many more!
Rake up leaves and jump in! (this is when a child sized rake would be useful.... for eid?)

Now, maybe with getting her engrossed into leaves and playing with them at home, she'll have more ideas on how to play with them on her own out in the park... And that's basically how it works, if you know something, you have power over it, you're able to identify it, see it, know it, do something with it. But if its a big blob of nothing that you see everyday but don't 'know', don't have interaction with, you'll just pass by it everyday without taking it in....

Asbah ala kheerr..... time for sleep.

Getting Ready for Hajj

2009-10-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah, i'm heading for hajj this year, first time. i'm nervous. i wonder if i'll be able to fill my days with ibadah, or if i won't have the patience and iman to do that. i wonder if it will be accepted. i wonder if i forced myself and husband into it. But I thank Allah swt for giving me the opportunity and i hope to make the best of it and to do it for His sake and none else's.
and i'm especially thankful to my mum and sisters for taking care of the girls. i'll be making lots of dua'a for you guys. so keep patient to get the reward. :)

God is Most Gentle with His Servants-Allah Lateefun Bi'ibadiah

2009-10-20T21:50:00.001-07:00

I like to record serious events in my life that had an impact on me, even for a few seconds, just to be a constant, written reminder of how exactly I was feeling when it first happened-so I will not forget. Because humans are forgetful, even when death stares them in the face, and they see it, and it strips them of all their power; once it's passed, they forget.

Yesterday was the strongest near- death experience I've had; not the first one, but the scariest, the one that most left me weak to my bones, strained in my neck, unable to move.

I was visiting a friend in Germantown MD to console her on her mother in law's loss. Driving back home with two of my sisters, we found ourselves lost for a bit and following a longer route home. We were laughing and talking and having a good time togeher. At Democracy Blvd, off of 270 South, I noticed that the dark highway was unusually empty, and I was relieved. I hate driving at night on busy, unfamiliar roads, with night lights blinding me, and me not knowing if I'm changing lanes into an empty lane or whether the car is actually two lanes over.

Past that Democracy Blvd exit, I was stuck behind a slower moving truck, perhaps going at 50 mph. I finally broke free and switched over to the left lane, pressing on the gas and keeping a bit of a distance from the truck on my right, and inching a bit closer to the concrete highway median to my left. I noticed a car behind me, and some lights in front of me. Smiling, my mind made me understand that these lights were from the cars driving down the other side of the highway. It was dark, but there were two white headlights lighting my road.

And then my mind realized that my sister Maryam was moaning, 'Fatima, watch out.'

It clicked.

Those two headlights were heading straight down the dark highway towards me. I was going 70, it was going fast, steady, straight down that highway. I had just passed the truck to my right, but I had no other choice. I violently pulled my steering wheel to the right, then quickly back to the left to keep out of the truck's direct path. I had no idea what was happening around me, but my SUV swerved right and left and right and left till we had passed danger.

I was spent. I could not believe what had just happened. The truck behind me slowed down to 10 mph, the car behind me too. That's all i saw in the rearview mirror. I was shaken. I couldn't press the gas, i couldn't keep my hands steady. Slowly, those two cars overtook me and long passed me. But I stayed at my 30 mph on the highway speed. My voice shook as I talked to my sisters. We couldn't believe what had just happenend. We hashed and rehashed what had just happened. I tried to steady my shaking voice; I thought I was the only one so scared. Had to toughen up.

We called 911 and they switched us over to the police dispatch. He informed us that they had gotten 3 other calls on the same car. Good. But they hadn't yet done anything to stop him. What was he? How the hell did he get on the closed highway? What was he trying to do? Suicide? An automotive version of Russian roulette? Gang or fraternity initiation? Probably not drunk. He was heading straight down that lane. No swerving left or right. Steady.

By the time I got home to my parents, I thanked God that it wasn't three deaths at once. All I could think of was that a head on collision like that would have flipped my car far, far ahead and killed us all, starting with my kid sister in the back seat with no seat belt. All I could think of was, Allah Lateefun bi'ibadih. He saved me from a violent, ugly death. And He truly saved me. He guarded me from in front of me, from the right of me, from the left of me, from behind me. I swerved from that car's way, but I swerved right into another vehicle's path. I was going for the lesser of the two evils, for a seriously scratched up car, but God had better plans. He protected me, He gave me another chance to thank Him, to realize His Mercy, His Gentleness, His power.

alhamduilllah rabbil 3alameen.

I-270 Driver Going Wrong Direction

2009-10-20T21:26:00.000-07:00

Did anyone else see this scary seen on 270 South past Democracy Blvd around 10:40 pm on Monday night, October 20th 2009? If so, I'd like to touch base and see what you saw.
My sisters and I saw death barreling down on us, but were saved by our guardian angels and Most Gentle Creator.

Ramadan Memories...

2009-09-03T15:19:00.000-07:00

Ramadan Memories and Ramadan Spirit.

There is one memory that jumps to my mind when I think of Ramadan, and most importantly when I think of the spirit of Ramadan. I grew up in the States, so the one Ramadan that I spent in Egypt as an adult was a new experience. I was never sure if it beat my Ramadans back home in America, but this one memory of Ramadan in Egypt fills me with happiness and the spirit of racing to do good that Ramadan inspires in all of us... (wa fee thalika fal yatanafas il mutanafisun- And in that, let them compete).

One day, my husband and I were invited for Ramadan iftar at my second cousin's home near the Al Malik Al Salih (Pious King) metro stop in Old Cairo. I don't remember the metro ride, I don't even remember if it was the metro we took, but I do remember the rest of the story from the moment we stepped out of the metro station into the sandy, brown neighborhood streets of Al Malik Al Salih neighborhood.

It was dusk time, maghrib time, and the streets were yellow with the last rays of the setting sun. The sound of athan had just faded from the horizon, and the streets were quiet, minus the sound of honking cars and screaming merchants. And yet, in our faces were about 4 or 5 young men and boys, each one handing us a small cup full of milk and a plate covered with dates. I was overwhelmed at first; it took me a few seconds to realize they were offering me my iftar dates, my fast-breaker. They realized that it was iftar time, that these last lingering metro riders had probably not broken their fast; and they raced against each other to give my husband and I that first date and sip of milk, so they could receive the reward of feeding a fasting person.

Until today, I am overwhelmed with feelings every time I think of it. I have to be honest with you, I couldn't drink from that cup of milk because I was a bit spoiled and had no idea where that cup or that milk had been, and I can't even remember if I had the stomach to eat the uncovered dates. But until today, I ask Allah to reward those boys and men for giving me a taste of the spirit of Ramadan, a taste of the meaning of racing forth to do good deeds, a taste of competing with each other in all that is good.

Six Ramadans later, I remember their faces, their outstretched arms, their desire to feed me, and I say alhamdulillah for the spirit of goodness in our ummah.

May Allah bless this Ramadan for you and I, and may He increase our desire to give generously like the blowing wind.

Different Personalities...and the Bathroom

2009-08-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

SubhanaAllah, Allah blessed me with two different girls and two completely different personalities. I know this might be a bit too graphic, but you can really see their differences of style in the bathroom!

My oldest daughter is so outgoing; she does not understand the concept of shyness or embarrassment. I know, it still surprises me, but she totally gets that character trait from her father. MashaAllah, I should try to learn how to help her take advantage of it.... She can be sooo cute sometimes, and apparently so overbearing, as my sisters let me know.

But when she used to do #2 in her diaper as a baby, she used to do it in front of the whole world, not even thinking twice about it. And now as a four year old, she wants me to stay with her in the bathroom and converse while she's going full speed. I have to teach her to be on her own.

With my second daughter, it was a bigger challenge potty training her. She would hide whenever she wanted to use the bathroom, and though I remember my younger siblings doing that as well, it surprised me how children could understand the concept of hayaa'a, shyness/modesty/embarressment. And now that she uses the potty (only for #2), she'll make sure I leave her alone. "Mama, ruhi, wi2filee il baab." "Mama, go and shut the door."

hahaha, i love it, and subhanaAllah, she is generally a shy kid in public, if she is first being introduced to a new group of people.

Life of A Parking Space

2009-07-19T21:13:00.000-07:00

I stood outside with my daughters, one snowy and icy day, cleaning off our black SUV with the new, long, double sided snow brush my husband had sent us long distance through Amazon.
Just the day before, I had complained to him that he had thrown away my broken snow brush last summer when he was cleaning out our old Volvo, getting it ready to be detailed and sold. I told him not to throw it away, that one day I would wake up and find snow, and no brush to clean off that snow with.
And I was right, the season's first snow had falled and melted, and I had had to clean the car with the back of my coat sleeve. Now the second snow fall had arrived, and it was much hardier than the first one-no back of sleeves wipe would do the trick for me. And so I complained to my husband that night, as I stayed snowed in my apartment with my two little ones, trying to entertain them and remain sane.
"I'm stuck without a snow brush. Thanks hubby. What am I supposed to do tomorrow morning when I try to go out?!"
And so, my new snowbrush arrived the next day by mail. Nice, sleek and long.
And we stood outside in our apartment parking lot, me cornering my two year old so she wouldn't run out into the street and watching my 3.5 year old trying to clean the snow off the car with her new toy.

And we watched one parking spot, two cars down from ours, fill up with a white Camry after having stood empty for a while. Ten minutes later, its driver returned and drove away, leaving the spot empty again. Two minutes later, that spot filled up again-this time with a silver Passat. And within minutes, its driver had returned and drove away to another destination. And there I stood with my little sumy, brushing away at that snow, breaking up those clumps of ice. And in drove the third car, a navy blue Volvo V70 and parked. All within 20 minutes of my stand. Twenty minutes, three cars, one parking spot. And one on-looker who watched it all.

Standing in one spot, and seeing another spots dramatic, quick changes, all within minutes was symbolic to me. Amazing, changes come and go, pass by us, and we remain standing, watching, waiting, hoping.

Happiness

2009-07-05T07:05:00.000-07:00

I got a compliment from my almost four year old daughter the other day, and it lit up my world, brightened up my day. It was the first compliment I've gotten from her, and I didn't imagine that little children could notice these things, and that their appreciation would make me so happy.

I was walking outside our apartment door, ready to take my daughters and husband on a couple of trips before I went out alone to an old friend's baby shower. As I walked out the door in my purple jilbab and silver-lined, purple scarf, my little daughter looked up to me and said, 'You look beautiful, mama. I like what you're wearing." I smiled this deep, heart-felt smile. "Thanks, Samsoum." And it kept me smiling for the rest of the day. It gave me a bit of confidence in my step as I walked into the baby shower that day.

Thank you for giving me confidence, dear daughter, thank you for bringing a real smile to my face.
There's just something about a child's true, unadulterated honesty, something about a young one's compliments that can never be replicated by any adult compliment, for in a child's compliment you detect true appreciation, unadulterated by any feelings of being kind. 100% honesty. Children, the true brightness in our horizon.

Parenting at Almost Four

2009-05-25T19:24:00.000-07:00

Should not involve disciplining a rude kid. But already my almost four year old is testing me and trying me with her rude faces and retorts. I am at a loss to how to fix it. I have started disciplining her by taking away story time at night, and I'm not sure its working. She gets so upset when I do that, and cries her heart out and throws fits and fits, but I'm not sure it helps her act better the next day.

today was especially trying for me. I am exhausted by trying to get her to act right. Maybe I'm expecting too much? Maybe I'm caring about what others say about how she acts, and that's why I'm trying to control her behavior and actions? I used to let go, but now that she's older, I feel like ppl can only handle her so much b/c she's not a little 'cute' kid anymore. But if that's the case, that's wrong of me.
I need to be disciplining her for the right reason, not b/c of what others will say about her. But how do you get a kid to stop giving you nasty looks when they're upset, and retorting at you without slapping them? For the life of me, alhamdulillah, i've been able to keep that violence away, b/c i know its just my temper getting the best of me. but sometimes, oh how badly i want to slap those words out of her mouth or that look off of her face.

Ya rabbi, I ask you to help me raise this girl in the best of akhlaq. Forgive me if I treated my parents wrongly, and if this is my just punishment. Please forgive me, and lead these daughters of mine to the best of akhlaq so that you will be pleased with them and I can live with them.

what would make my daughter better?
I know if I had more fun with her, on a personal, playful level, she would probablylove me more and be so upset at upsetting me. maybe i need to do that, just play with her. instead of taking her places to play and thinking that's enough.

subhanaAllah. ya rabbi, sabbirnee 3layha.

Hurting My Kid

2009-04-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

aaah, i'm in pain right now, and i don't think i've ever hurt my daughter as much as i did today. i've never seen her cry such deep tears of upset and disbelief. i disclipined her today by taking away her bedtime story. she misbehaved and i gave her many chances, counted down, threatened etc. and then took her down to 1 story, and then she acted up again and i took away her one story. and i knew it would hurt me, b/c it would unsettle her before bed, which would make falling asleep harder for her, and yet i felt she would only learn if she saw that i would not change my mind. but she cried and cried her heart out and i'm so sad.

and to make it worse, she acts up usually when i don't give her enough activities during the day, and today i left her at my mom's from 4-9 pm, where they didnt have much to do. so i always feels bad when i feel like i didn't give her enough of my time of day, but i have this project i need to finish by next week and i'm no where close to finishing it... aaaahhhh. poor baby.

What is right? am i doing the right form of disciplining? i don't feel like this is going to hurt her long term, b/c i did warn her. and i'll shower her with love tomorrow to show her i love her, but that she can't act up in rude behavior. ... i don't know...

and i lost her today. and the worst thing is i didn't even notice till minutes later. we were at teh library and she was on the computer and i was doing puzzles with her sister. when i finally got up, i noticed she was gone. i went searching for her and found the librarian and another woman bringing her in, apparently she had been outside looking for me, thinking i had left her and gone to the park. and then the two women went off and started whispering, and i could just imagine them talking about this irresponsible foreigner who didn't care for her kid... subhanaAllah. alhamdulillah He protected her and me from feeling the fear of losing my daughter to human's moment of weakness and non-omniscense.

Small Science Experiment for 3 year old

2009-03-01T11:18:00.000-08:00

I kind of adapted this idea from a website I came upon for Montessori teaching and from the snowy/sleety weather we had last night.
While we were driving, a snow truck passed in front of us and sprayed us with some pebbles/salt grains. My daughter asked me about it and I explained that salt helps the ice melt more quickly and keeps ice from forming on the ground. She asked how, so I promised her that next morning we would do an 'experiment' to discover how. This excited her since she's been reading a mouse story , with the mouse getting dirty in one scene from a 'science experiment.' So she said excitedly, "tajruba 3ilmiyya?!" And I said, 'Yes!"

Today we took out two little bowls and two pieces of ice. I let my daughters take turns pouring salt on the 'experimental' ice cube. Then we moved around both bowls and got them little spoons to mix the ice. The ice with the salt melted very quickly! We learned about the different states of water, about different things that help ice melt more quickly.

quick fun!

Children's Innocence

2009-02-10T21:46:00.000-08:00

My heart hurts for my children, and I wish I could protect them from learning what meanness is.
The other day we were visiting with some older, generally well-behaved children and their parents. When we went home, my three year old told me that the 'older' boy (6? 8? year old 'A') had called her banana head. She was laughing when she said this. And I knew that she thought it was funny.
But I kept on thinking to myself that he meant it in a way to make people laugh, and b/c she was innocent , she wasn't hurt by him using her as a tool for humor. But I felt so bad. I was happy that she wasn't hurt, but I realized that one day it would dawn on her that people are mean, and words could hurt. My heart cries for my children, cries for the day they realize human meanness.

Ya Allah, give us strength in our bodies and spirits, and protect our children from evil.

Confessions of a Three Year Old

2009-01-23T21:14:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love them. I love my little daughter when she comes up to me and starts conversing with me, telling me as an after thought, about something that she did yesterday that she probably shouldn't have, or something that she did today that she probably shouldn't have.

"Mama, I ran to the bathroom because I needed it. I pee'ed in my pants, a little bit."
Me: "What?!"
"Just a little bit, mama, a very little bit."

She tells me the story so matter of factly, so full of confidence, so sure of my love, with no guilt, because she doesn't understand guilt yet, at least not fully.

I was sitting and listening to her chatter away, not really paying attention, till her new train of words caught my attention.

"Mama, yesterday I took that bottle and went into the room, shut the door and put some soap in my hands and my sisters's hands."
Me, "Yes?"
"Then my aunt came in the room and took it from me, and told me this doesn't belong to me."

"Oh, what was it?" Now I'm really paying attention because I realize she's telling me a real life story, and because I'm wondering what the heck she had taken out of the closet.

"That," she points to a bottle of antibacterial soap, a small bottle, the kind you don't have to wash with water.

She tells me this whole story in retrospect, something that happened in her day yesterday. But she's not confessing a sin, she's just telling me her daily happenings. She feels no need to apologize, she feels no need to fear me. And I absolutely love it. I love the fact that she's not scared of telling me, the fact that she isn't waiting for my reaction and fearing it. I love the fact that she's conversing with me, and I almost don't want to say anything, don't want to ruin the moment.

"Sumy, why did you close the door?"
"What?"
"Remember, if I don't see you, Allah SWT sees you. Next time, if you want to see it, just ask me and I'll bring it down." But deep inside I realize that I don't always 'just bring it down.' Maybe I need to do that more often.

I hope I did that right. I hope I am able to keep my lines of communication open with this little treasure of a daughter. I hope she always remains so innocent, even in her mistakes, so free, so trusting, so confident.

Ya Allah, give me wisdom to protect her from everything bad. Ya Allah, keep our babies so wonderful and trusting and sweet and innocent.

Not Regretting It

2009-01-22T05:49:00.000-08:00

My husband has a wonderful trait-once he decides on something and goes through with it, he never regrets it. No matter how nagging I can get, asking him if perhaps we should have looked around for a better deal, perhaps we should have waited, perhaps...., he tells me, 'khalass, it's over and I don't regret it.'
And I love this trait about him, b/c it helps me feel better about some decisions I feel I may have forced him into that I later have second thoughts about (like buying our new car).

But two days ago, I did something different. Something that I should have done so many years ago, but practice makes perfect. I thought about why I was going to the inauguration.

I had planned on going months ago, once Obama was elected president. And then the morning of the inauguration, I found myself going by myself, and I wondered if there was any truly 'good' reason for me to go, other than to see something excited, which didn't sound very beneficial to my life and Hereafter.

So I decided that I would go and learn something new from this crowd of 2 million people, and I would at least be a picture for Islam in America for these crowds who might not think Muslims were as interested as they in Obama's inauguration.

And I went. It was cold, crowded, exhausting, and wonderful, and I went alhamdulillah. I was alone the whole time, and I got stuck in unbelievable human traffic afterwards (never ever imagined such a human traffic jam) and it took me 2.5 hours to get home instead of 30 minutes, but alhamdulillah, I did not regret going because I got what I went for, alhamdulillah. People saw me, I gave a 30 second interview on something called Kosher TV, and I saw things that I did not think I'd see (like the Christian fundamentalists with their huge signs, coming to DC with a purpose, and getting booed by the crowd and told to go home (!), and the Buddhist monks walking around the mall to their own drumbeat (so nice!), and some interesting crowd control issues).

Alhamdulillah, it was a learning experience. May God give me the power to think through every action I take.

Vacuuming Empowers Me!

2009-01-15T10:44:00.000-08:00

I'm realizing this more and more, I absolutely love vacuuming. In general, I prefer cooking to cleaning any time of day, but there's something absolutely quick and wonderful about a vacuum cleaners powers- how it wipes out dirt and a mess with one swipe, and leaves my living room looking so clean within minutes.
And it's probably the only cleaning I can do with kids running around and not having to worry about them demanding my attention at that time. They either play tag with the vacuum cleaner and I push, or grab their own child size vacuums and clean along.
And I just recently realized the love affair I've had with each vacuum cleaner I bought in the different countries and had to leave behind when I moved. At first I thought it was only this vacuum cleaner or that one that I loved, but then I realized I loved each vacuum cleaner I've chosen (except for my craigslist one-but then again, I didn't choose that one!).

I feel like a child when I say this, but I love vacuuming!

PS: I own a dyson at the moment (one of the lighter ones) and am in love!

GrowMamaGrow

2009-01-10T07:25:00.001-08:00

Check it out, a new, amazing online community for Muslim moms:

www.growmama.com

Expanded Post- Water Play-Entertaining Baby!

2008-11-04T08:25:00.001-08:00

Entertaining Baby
I'm reading this book that has been giving me the simplest yet most brilliant ideas for entertaining my toddlers. Basically, kids like to do so many things, and the only reason we stop them is because it's an inconvenience to us-changing their wet clothes, bathing them, whatever. But what is a wet t-shirt, a wet bathroom floor, some spilled dry beans on a carpet? Five minutes of extra cleaning on my part and hours! of entertainment for her!
So the other day, I opened the bathroom door, pulled up a step to the sink, filled it with water and bubbles and gave my 2 1/2 year old a couple of measuring cups. She was in there for at least 1 1/2 hours, and fully enjoying herself. Brilliant! Let her play with water! She enjoys it, and all I do is change her afterwards and wipe the floor.
Another idea that holds great favor in our household:

Setting up a dry bean station: I fill a jar with dry white beans and place it on a flat pan along with empty jars of all sizes, and a couple of measuring spoons/cups. My kids fully enjoy spilling it all over the floor and elsewhere, but they also come up with the most amazing , creative concoctions, including white bean tea! It's amazing, but you have to watch out for the hungry 18 month old child who you think is old enough, and smart enough to know not to eat this tasteless treat. No matter how vigilant you might be, their appetite will be smaller that day, their mood will change around evening time and their diaper that night will be *full* of dry beans!
Putting on some kid songs: I put on some anasheed with kids singing and a nice beat. My daughters insist on wearing their 'dancing' outfits (skirts which are 3 sizes too large for them) and twirling around!
Good ole' play-dough: I set my daugthers up either on the floor or on their little table with a clump of play-dough and a couple of rolling pins, cookie cutters and measuring spoons. Lately, I've also added a store-bough play-dough squeezer to the fun. My three year old especially enjoys this (putting the dough in the contraption and squeezing it out through a shaper to look like thin spaghetti, thick pasta, stars, crescents, etc).
Bath time! With lots of bubbles, plastic cups, and a spray bottle! Oh yes, and much patience for me! Perhaps cleaning up the bathroom sink at the same time would be a useful endeavor for me.

Please share your toddler fun ideas!

Discovering My Child

2008-10-22T10:03:00.001-07:00

As a parent, I am slowly seeing that I should discover my child, so that I may help her reach her potential.
We were in NYC this weekend with my husband's cousin, showing him a part of America and seeing it ourselves in a new light. We went to the Madam Tassauds wax museum as part of our tour. Not something that I would ever have done on my own, or that I would do again, but it gave me a deeper glimpse into my three year old's abilities, and now I'm trying to discover how to build on that momentum.
In the wax museum, there is an 'American Idol' station where visitors can try there luck in singing. We were sitting at the cafeteria for a short break, and saw two different visitors perform. After the second one finished her performance, Sumy hesitated for about two seconds, and shyly ran up to the lady for the microphone. I was so impressed with her bravery and her jur'ah. She definitely gets that side from her father. It was so cute how she looked kind of shy, but her eagerness to sing overrode her tiny bit of shyness (she's not a very shy kid, usually).
She got up on stage and sang the two lines she knew from "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" with the prompter helping her along. And she finished the whole song and came off stage.

So now, I need to figure out what that tells me about Sumy's abilities/personality and build on it. Any help would be appreciated. :)

But this is what I'm thinking: I've always wished I had a nice voice to sing in public, for performances, Eid celebrations, weddings, etc. But I have no such talent. So, I might teach Sumy a few songs in Arabic and English so that she can entertain people. "The Blue Sky is Blue Like Blue Bubblegum", etc. I believe that putting happiness into ppl's hearts by singing is a great asset, and maybe she can do that a bit.
What else? Hmmm, need to develop her outgoing personality and not clamp it down. More on that in another post inshaallah.

Playing With Beans

2008-09-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I decided that my 18 month old is old enough to understand that she can't eat raw beans, or that she'd taste one, not like it, and continue playing with them. I was optimistic.
I give her and her older sister a couple of empty jars, spice jars, measuring cups, etc, and let them play with the dry white beans for a while, until my living room carpet was covered with beans, and they were ready for their nap.
Shifaa woke up a couple of hours later and didn't eat much for lunch. We went to mama's for iftar/dinner, and again she didn't have an appetite. I know you've guessed the reason, but I didn't have the forecasting that you have, and so I wondered why she was acting so spoiled and crying over everything. I attributed it to her teeth, and went on with life.
She refused to eat dinner, and I refused to give her anything else that she thought she could get (yes, I was being heartless).
Than night, right before her bath, she pooped. I changed her diaper and laughed. It was absolutely filled with dry white beans. Eeeeewwww! I know, I'm sorry for the details, but it made me smile, b/c I finally understood why she had a 'full' stomach all day, and I guess now I knew why she was acting so 'bratty' all day!

I'll have to watch her better next time. Yes, there will be a next time!

Enjoying the Moment

2008-07-08T08:55:00.000-07:00

My 16 month old is now walking, so I *usually* let her take the walk from the car to our apartment on her own. It's a three minute affair if she's in my arms, and a ten minute affair if I'm following her. But the immense pleasure she gets out of it keeps me going.
She squeals in pleasure as soon as the apartment door opens and starts running out towards the elevator. She gets in and says 'ai!' even if there's no one in the elevator. And if ppl are there, she waves and stares at them.
As soon as the elevator door opens, she walks out, and starts observing everything and everyone and saying 'ai!' to the receptionist. Once I'm able to get her out of the building she starts observing every little thing in her way.
She squats down and touches the wet flowers, the wet asphalt, anything. She picks up random rocks and stuff and starts meandering left and right. She fully enjoys the moment and doesn't realize that we need to get to the car.
I love it, I love observing her, I love how she takes it all in, at her eye level.
And so I let her walk, unless I really need to get somewhere...
:)

She's Walking!

2008-05-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

I keep on mentioning this reflection of mine to my friends and family, and yet I still feel the need to write it down and share it with everyone. I'm amazed at the complete difference in personality that my two daughters showed when it came to walking.
My youngest, 15 month old daughter, is finally walking. I don't mean just walking as in she never walked before, but as in she has finally decided that instead of crawling everywhere, she's gonna get up and walk. She's been working on her walking skills for over a month now, but she'd tease us, take a few steps here and there to show us that she could do it, but she just never really cared to pursue it. That and she's a very careful baby when it comes to her safety. She never felt it was a safe endeavor, and so, she didn't walk! :) And yet, the thought process that has finally brought her to the decision to walk, continues to amaze me.
And oh how different this process was for my older 33 month old daughter! :) That's almost three year old Sumy. She discovered her ability to take steps at 1 year and 3 weeks old. And she never looked back. As simple as that.
One day we were living with my parents and Sumy was a walker. Then we went away with my in-laws for a two day vacation to PA. The evening we left my parents house, Sumy discovered walking. She took a few steps and fell. Was amazed, got right back up, took a few more steps and fell, and got right back up. She continued like this for a good hour, and she never went back to crawling. Amazing, subhanaAllah! My sis in law caught a good 15 mins of it on camera. I should look it up.
SubhanaAllah the differences that kids have in approaching life. Now I wonder, does this really reflect on differences in their personalities? Differences in how they approach life in general? Or is it just a walking issue? A physical issue? I'm not really sure, but i'll discover it as I continue to live and grow with my girls.
Alhamdulillah.

Where My Time Flies...

2008-05-17T21:10:00.000-07:00

So, it's really busy business being a mommy. Whenever someone asks me what I do, I answer, "I'm 'just' a mother.' And then I explain that being a mommy is busy business, but I rack my brains to remember why it's a busy business... Can't I do more with my time? (Answer is yes, but when I can't....)

So, this is why I can't do much more with my time....

Today I came to write a check for a bill that arrived in the mail. I sit down and start writing check. Baby is hungry. I get up and put an egg to boil, come back and entertain her a bit to get her to forget her hunger. I run off and find another, working pen, and start writing check again. Older daughter finally agrees to use bathroom. I get up to help her.
The egg is ready by the time we're finished in the bathroom. I cool it down under cold water, and put it for Baby to eat. A couple of minutes later, Baby decides it's nasty and lobs it over the side of her high chair. Big Baby (older daughter) decides she wants an egg too, and I hear the sound of an egg cracking in the kitchen. I run to save the egg and my kitchen and pour some milk for Baby. I retrieve the egg, let her drink milk, and give her some egg to try again. I sit down and finish writing the check, but the envelope isn't the right size, so I get up to get another envelope.
I run to the kitchen to make an omelet that I'm convinced won't be eaten by Big Baby, run back and clean up the once again lobbed over side of high chair egg (stupid me), and address the new envelope. I take down Baby, wash her, place her on the floor (upset of course, because she's sleepy). And I finish the envelope!!! I run, make the omelet and run back to stamp the envelope. Alhamdulillah, it's done and waiting to be mailed tomorrow.
By the way, much to my delight and surprise, the 11 pm omelet gets eaten by a hungry 2 1/2 year old Big Baby. :) yay! And thirty minutes after I put my mind to getting this item off my to-do list, it's accomplished. Mission accomplished!

Potty Training and Independence

2008-04-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

A light clicked in my head a few weeks ago while I was potty training Suma. She likes to do things on her own! So I told her, 'Sumy, when you need the bathroom, go inside by yourself, take off your pants/underwear, and sit on the toilet.' And Sumy liked that idea.
Yesterday, she didn't even mention anything to me, I just saw her looking uncomfortable for a few minutes, going and coming, and then I heard her 'peeing.' She went into the dark bathroom on her own and undressed and sat, didn't even need to tell me. :) She's done it before, and each time, I'm so proud of her! :) It's so cute, Allah yihfath-ha.
So, maybe in the path to being potty-trained, we need to teach kids to do it on their own, and they'll make less mistakes! Obvious, but I'm stating it nonetheless. :)

Water Play

2008-04-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

I started writing this a while back and got busy with my husband's visit. So here's a quick reflection.

I'm reading this book that has been giving me the simplest yet most brilliant ideas for entertaining my toddlers. Basically, kids like to do so many things, and the only reason we stop them is because it's an inconvenience to us-changing their wet clothes, bathing them, whatever. But what is a wet t-shirt, a wet bathroom floor, some spilled dry beans on a carpet? Five minutes of extra cleaning on my part and hours! of entertainment for her!
So the other day, I opened the bathroom door, pulled up a step to the sink, filled it with water and bubbles and gave my 2 1/2 year old a couple of measuring cups. She was in there for at least 1 1/2 hours, and fully enjoying herself. Brilliant! Let her play with water! She enjoys it, and all I do is change her afterwards and wipe the floor.

Being a 'Yes' Mommy

2008-03-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

I recognize that parents' first reactions to most questions posed by their children is 'no.' For some reason, it's an inborn thing in parents, and probably humans. So, I'm trying to become more of a 'yes' mommy, only saying no when I have to. I'm not always successful, and still trying harder, but it comes in stages.
The other day, when I was getting Suma ready for bed (2.5 year old), I took off both of her socks. She was talking about something, paused and said, 'Put them back on, so I can take them off." I did, and she proceeded to undress her own socks. It took an extra 30 seconds on my part. And life went on smoothly. Most importantly, inside of me, I wasn't boiling at her for making me do this, I wasn't impatient and trying to hurry her off to bed. I took it all in step, and I was rather proud, alhamdulillah.
So, here's a reminder to myself, 'Be a 'yes' mommy!'